Being home with my family and friends has been the -B E S T- thing for me, right now! I am having the time of my life and have been [[for the most part]] genuinely happy! I still have my 'd a y s' though! I D0o miss my husband more then anyone could
EVER imagine but still.... I feel like I am on both sides of the street going down a curvy road. I don't know whether to hide my emotions & just pretend that I am strong enough to do this or show my true feelings and breakdown every time I am "confronted." I will be the first to admit that i'ts hard to do! Sometimes, I feel obligated to just act like living life alone is easy and that it doesn't bother me. But honestly, it does. I mean Jon and I work at it and its working for us but I'm not
superwomen. I can only "do" s0o much! Its hard to maintain confidence, waking up everyday with a smile... but I do0o! I do it because I am proud of my husband and what he does!! DONT get me wrong-- I miss him more then anything... Though, I know I cant dwell on him not being by my side 24/7. Some people may want that or even "need" that but I am better then that. I know life is unfair and not everyone gets what they want but I know that in the end I am and will be just as happy as any other girl -
IN L0VE!- I live off "knowing" that my husband
will come home soon,
safe & healthy! :)
I could definitely be in denial about all this but I doubt it. Every time I see Jon's face or hear his voice its all worth the frustration and separation of how our 'p e r f e c t' little life is right now. As weird as that may sound with him being gone for long; we honestly do have something great that not everyone has which makes it that more amazing to say I have my knight and shinning armor! :) Things are good for us and I know that and know to
n e v e r take that for granted!
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